I’ve always been a huge supporter for donating blood. Healthy humans, when you think about it, have way too much blood to begin with. We just don’t need it all. So why not donate? You sit around with a needle in your arm for about two minutes, are immediately given free snacks, and then that’s it. You’re done. You now get to spend the entire rest of your year without feeling guilty about the complete lack of charitable work you do. You’ve met your “help other people quota” for at least that long.
Despite my fear the entire concept of a blood bank is a conspiracy organized by vampires secretly working in the government, I still donate blood regularly. This allows me to tell girls in bars about the lives I’ve saved without technically being a liar. Ernest & Scott Taproom clearly understands this strategy, and has decided to give out free beer to anyone (at least anyone over 21 presumably) who donates blood between August 12 and September 5 at the Blood Bank of Delmarva. That was a lot of information so let’s break it down, step by step.
Okay, maybe it wasn’t that much information. This is seriously the easiest, and most noble, way to get a free beer in the history of beer and freedom. And think about it, you have almost a month to qualify for this deal. You could probably donate at least ten times in that period. That’s ten free beers. And with the now somewhat dangerous lack of blood in your system, those ten beers are sure to have some heightened effect. This is the definition of a win-win.
In other news, I have recently begun working to start my own charity. If anyone is kind enough to donate their beer to me, I’ll happily give them some blood in return. And I have really good blood.